I thought critically about it before running away from home. Even though I was just 16years old and didn’t fully understand what running away might do to me, I still chose to leave. I went to from being a ‘daddy’s girl’ to a “no daddy girl’ in less than 24hours. My whole life was on pause. I struggled to write my final exams in SSS3 and came back from boarding school clueless about what life has in store for me.
This might sound stupid but running away was better than getting married. I couldn’t stand the thought of it. My brothers were and are still dear to me but there was no way, I’d let myself be married because their fees needed to be paid. I had a goal to one day graduate from the Univeristy. Why then do you think I would want to get married?
I was 11 years old when my dad asked me if I wanted to “further” my studies. (further; means going to a higher institution after high school. Trying to use his exact words). I said YES! I asked why he asked and he said to me “Kasham, no one in our entire family ever graduated from a higher institution and I want to ensure you and the boys go future than high school.” I was shocked and asked why we had no graduate at that time. He said to me “no one ever had that kind of money, it is really expensive”. Then I asked curiously “do we now have the funds to send my brothers and I further than high school?
His response was simple “when we get to the bridge, we’ll cross it.” By the time I got to “the bridge” he was already dead.
From age 11 to 16, I dreamt about going to the University. I wanted it so badly I wrote it at the back of my Bible. It became a life goal for me. Even though it was my dad’s dream, I loved the idea and made it personal. Several times, my dad and I would talk about it say, “if there was a jinx in this family that stops people from going to the University, I’ll break it”. We would laugh and do a very special handshake that I will one day teach my son. Lol…
So tell me, do you still think I should have stayed to be married off because my brothers were out of school and someone somewhere thinks marrying me off will bring money for school fees? Your guess is as good as mine.
If I have to make this decision yet again, will I pack up and leave?