For a very long time, I will look at my past, the terrible choices that I made and wish I could turn back the hands of time. I was afraid to admit that I am broken and scarred. I put up a facade that makes everyone think that I had it all together and my life was perfectly perfect. But I knew deep within me that all wasn’t as beautiful as it looked on the outside.
In 2010, my friend told me about a certain young girl he wanted me speak to. I was shocked! “Me? What will I tell her?” I asked. He said “share with her what you went through and how you came out alive”. For a few days, I wondered if I could, I was afraid to tell anyone what happened. “She will judge me” I said to myself. One evening, I got back from work and the security man said a certain chubby woman came to see me. Errnn! Chubby Woman? I asked if he meant chubby girl and he said “The way she dress pass girl o, na woman be that one, all her body just dey outside”. Then I knew it was the same girl my friend asked me to see.
Funny thing about this story is; He is probably reading and had no idea what that simple request did to my life. I finally got around to talk to her and honestly, I didn’t open up. I shared personal stories with her but didn’t mention it was my story. Her face was on fire at a point and as she held my hands, she started crying. That day she stayed with me. I cannot tell you where she is right now because I didn’t follow up.
A few weeks later, I was on Campus and heard two girls talking about abortion and rape. One of them was raped and she almost died after the abortion. I started feeling a deep urge in my spirit to say hello and be friends with them but again, I didn’t. A few weeks later I started a club for teenage girls to inspire them through monthly meetings. I got my friends to speak at the meetings and that birthed Club31Woman. I had no idea that a broken and scarred girl like me will be used by God.
When I felt inadequate, God reminded me that He can use anything or anyone – broken, scarred or even shattered. That God, has not changed. He still take what we give him, our imperfections and flaws and remake us into useful vessels. I have noticed that every time I acknowledge my brokenness, whether through posting a quote or sharing part of my story on social media, I get a little bit stronger.